The trust of Abraham was a mighty thing. I found myself crying out tonight for the trust of Abraham, because I need it.
The definition of faith is “complete trust or confidence in someone or something.” Taking that a step further, I looked up trust. It adds depth to the definition of faith. Check it out. Trust is “firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something; confidence placed in a person by making that person the nominal owner of property to be held or used for the benefit of one or more others.”
Why am I praying for the trust of Abraham? Because his story resonates with me tonight like none other. Abraham longed for his son. He was promised him and then…well, then he waited. And waited. And waited. And then, finally, when he was pretty gosh darn old and tired of waiting, his son was born. God always keeps His promises, but I know I’m not alone in thinking that I wish His timing were more like mine. I like things in a now sort of way, if you know what I mean.
I have waited for four very long years to have Emily call me “Mommy.” I have waited to have her in our home, at our table, as our child. For this summer, we were able to host her and that has been amazing. But in 13 hours, I will once again be saying goodbye to her and trusting God with her. I don’t have a blessed clue how Abraham did it.
I sat in our library tonight, holding her, as she prayed. Tonight, instead of praying in halting English, the words flowed from her in her native tongue. I only caught a tiny portion of what she prayed; our girl poured out her heart tonight for at least ten minutes. Her tears flowed nearly as freely as her words, and all I could do was hold her and cry with her. When it was my turn to pray, words would barely come. I was choking on everything I wanted to say, and then it was as if the Holy Spirit whispered in my heart: “Ask me for the words.” So I did. And then I could speak.
Lord, give me the trust of Abraham. Help me to understand trust as he did. Lord, You are good and your mercies endure forever. Every good and perfect gift is from you. You give and take away. You are faithful. Blessed be Your name. Help me to mean these things in my heart; give my heart the trust of Abraham.
And then I cried. The tears fell like the rain during a hurricane; they came violently and consistently and shook everything. I couldn’t see through them. And then, the whisper. “The trust of Abraham. Trust Me.”
Abraham trusted completely. He not only trusted that a son was coming (and Isaac did come eventually!), but he trusted God with Isaac’s life wholly. He climbed a mountain with sticks and a knife, preparing for a sacrifice to the I AM, and the only lamb he had with him was his son. He climbed that mountain knowing with each step that soon God was going to take back His promised child, and yet believing in the reliability of God. How on earth did he do it?
I think that’s the point. There is no earthly way he could have. It had to be supernatural; it had to be the Spirit of God giving him that trust. That’s why I have to pray for it — I don’t already possess it. But just as God gave Abraham the trust, so He will do it for me. And for you. I want to trust God so completely with my children that I acknowledge that He is the true owner of them; I am merely a steward of these tremendous blessings for the short amount of eternity that they spend on this earth with me.
God didn’t tell Abraham to climb the mountain, ready the sacrifice, and look for a ram in the thicket. He told him to gather Isaac, climb the mountain, and be ready to sacrifice him. God hasn’t seen fit to fully fund our adoption or even have our paperwork approved and travel dates issued before we said goodbye to Emily. Like Abraham, there is potential for more loss in my future. In her future. But I want to trust God like good ‘ol Abe and know that my God is reliable, true, able, and strong. I want to trust God more than I do today. I want to acknowledge God’s ownership of each of my children and relinquish my temporal hold on them because I understand that His grasp on them is eternal.
Lord, You are good. Blessed be Your name.