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Have you ever wondered why God included the Song of Solomon in the Bible?
Like the book Esther, Song of Solomon never directly talks about God. But we can deduce, because of its inclusion, that God intends for us to learn from it.
What have I learned from it that I want to share with you? 7 ways you need to spice up your marriage, Bible-style (and let me tell you…God invented sex and He wants you to enjoy it!).
A lot of people don’t talk about God and spicing up their marriage in the same breath, but I’m not sure why. After all, God created man, God created woman, and God created intimacy.
It was His plan from the beginning for the two to become one.
So what can you take away from a reading of the Song of Solomon to help spice up your marriage?
1. Kiss Your Man
The opening lines of this Biblical song talk about kissing. It’s not just for teenagers, Y’all. It’s for husbands and wives in the sanctity of marriage.
Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your love is better than wine ~Song of Solomon 1:2
Kissing creates a connection. And none of that wimpy, quick peck-on-the-cheek nonsense either. Put some effort into that physical connection; it’s every bit as important as the emotional one!
You can make your morning kiss spicy enough to leave him thirsting for you all day long or the bedtime one spicy enough to amp up the heat at home. Go for it.
2. Delight In His Body
This book is an ode to carnal pleasure, and yet it’s not sinful pleasure. It’s all about delighting in one another’s bodies and finding them desirable.
Behold, you are beautiful, my beloved, truly delightful. ~Song of Solomon 1:16
The two of them sing back and forth to one another in beautiful poetry, expressing their delight in each other’s bodies. God included this in the Bible.
That tells me, sweet friend, that He would be thrilled for you to find delight in your husband’s body, as well as to delight him with yours.
Delight is a powerful emotion, and delighting in your man will make intimacy even more intimate. And fun.
3. Belong to Each Other
Too often in marriage, we forget that we are no longer individuals, but one half of a whole created by a covenant made on our wedding day.
My beloved is mine, and I am his… ~Song of Solomon 2:16
She is his, he is hers, they belong to one another. And there is no room for anyone else in their relationship.
Oh my sweet friend, guard your marriage. Leave no room for anyone else to slide in emotionally, physically, or even just in your thoughts. Be like the Shulamite woman and adore your husband, desire him, allure him, and delight in him.
This belonging will add a depth and passion to your marriage that will surely make the heat hotter and the love sweeter.
4. Look for Him
She sought him out when he wasn’t there. We see her searching the streets with desperation, seeking the one her soul loves.
I sought him whom my soul loves… ~Song of Solomon 3:1
Do you pursue your husband? I bet if you did, he’d feel irresistible and it would bless his socks right off. And more than that, let him know that you miss him when he’s absent.
Let him know his presence completes you and satisfies you on the soul level…and the physical one.
Pursuit is sexy. We all love to be pursued. And finding the object of your pursuit? Incredibly satisfying.
Side note: Don’t just equate this to a physical distance between you. If something emotional has come between you, seek to bridge that gap as well.
Related: The Day We Danced In The Kitchen
5. Keep Some Things Hidden
We live in a culture that flaunts sexuality and promiscuity, and even brings things into marriages that don’t belong. We live in a time that exalts 50 Shades of Shame (my title, not theirs) over honor, purity, modesty, and faithfulness.
But you don’t have to have a marriage that reflects our modern times.
It’s okay to keep bedroom things in the bedroom between you and your man; it’s okay to have some secrets in your marriage.
Not everything needs to be talked about over appetizers with the girls and certainly not everything needs to be displayed for admiration by men who aren’t your husband. Keep some secrets, my friend!
A garden locked is my sister, my bride,
a spring locked, a fountain sealed. ~Song of Solomon 4:12
Go to your marriage bed pure, and once you are in it…keep it that way! Seal your body, your thoughts, and your emotions away behind a locked wall and give the key only to your husband.
That package you stare at under the Christmas tree leaves you longing and waiting and imagining. Be that gift for your husband, so that each night he can enjoy unwrapping you.
And proudly enjoy the truth that he is the only one you allow to do that! Spice up your marriage with the gifts of faithfulness, purity, and modesty…except for when you’re with him.
6. Prepare Yourself To Enjoy Your Husband
She dripped with myrrh, an expensive perfume. She was thrilled at the thought of him coming to her and she had spent time readying her body for him.
My beloved put his hand to the latch,
and my heart was thrilled within me.
I arose to open to my beloved,
and my hands dripped with myrrh. ~Song of Solomon 5:4-5
Let’s be honest here. If you’re a busy mom like I am, you’re lucky to get a shower and deodorant on some days. Forget dripping with myrrh.
But that’s not okay. Our marriages need to take priority. There’s no need to feel guilty taking the time to shower, shave, and get dressed up for a night at home.
After all, the kids have to go to bed sometime, don’t they?
And your man? He’ll be thrilled when you spice up your marriage after a long day of parenting…and so will you, once you get to it.
7. Be Friends with Your Man
I love this verse. My beloved and my friend. What a beautiful picture of marriage!
His mouth is most sweet,
and he is altogether desirable.
This is my beloved and this is my friend,
O daughters of Jerusalem. ~Song of Solomon 5:16
Are you friends with your husband? If not, pray to God and ask Him to help you build a friendship with the man who calls you “wife”.
He should be the only man you are close friends with, and he should be your closest friend. After all, you are ONE with him.
I know this post is about spicing things up, and friendship doesn’t sound very spicy, but there’s nothing better than being friends and lovers.
God Wants You To Spice Things Up
A strong, fulfilling marriage is one way Christian couples can honor God. God created man and woman and the first gift He gave them, after life, was each other.
He intends for us to delight in one another without shame.
God uses marriage to explain the relationship between Christ and the Church. He longs to be intimate and connected to us, to have us delight in His pursuit and relentless love for us, and for us to love Him desperately.
Likewise, God intends for our relationship with our husbands to be an earthly picture of this dynamic. So my friend, love your husband well.
Kiss him, desire him, pursue him, wrap yourself up tight and only unwrap for him, prepare to please him and be pleasured by him, and be friends with them. Spice up your marriage and enjoy the heat!
Resources to help you Spice Up Your Marriage
If you need some help finding the “want to” and want to change that from a Christian perspective, take a peek at my friend Sheila’s Boost Your Libido course.
This was originally created as Day 48 of the Bible in 90 Days series