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Get cozy and let’s have some girl talk, shall we?
How often do you date your spouse?
Let’s keep it real. Life has a way of making date nights something we did instead of something we do.
There was a time when date night for us meant time to ourselves when the kids went to sleep. That was, of course, if we could stay awake.
After a while, we realized home dates were in our future. Well, at least until our children got older or our budget allowed us to hire a babysitter and the cost of our date.
Within the first few years of our marriage, we realized that our marriage must be a priority right after God. After all, the marriage relationship is the only relationship that mirrors Christ and the church, as we read in Ephesians 5:22-33.
“ Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” ~ Ephesians 5:22-33 (KJV)
When I read this, I think about the privilege we have to be in such relationship that mirrors the church.
Since prioritizing our marriage was important to us, we petitioned God for ways to date each other that brought peace to our hearts and our wallets. As we sought God, He began to show us some creative ways we can have dates at home.
Not just any date, but dates that actually strengthen our marriage!
6 Bedroom Date Night Ideas
Bedroom meals are probably the easiest and most practical date you can have at home, because you already eat at home. The only difference is where and how you eat.
Eating in your bedroom is not the date. How you set the mood in your bedroom to eat, makes all the difference. Candlelight dinner, with soft music, and conversation rules (no kid talk, business, or work) turns a regular dinner into a bedroom date!
And the great thing about bedroom meals, is that it’s not limited to dinner. You can have breakfast in bed dates or picnic lunches on your bedroom floor.
As our kids got a little older, our date nights got later and later. Sometimes too late for dinner, so we took advantage of those nights and had movie nights in our room.
We watched movies that fortify healthy relationships, (that’s just a fancy way of saying chick flick…ha-ha). Well, sometimes we would watch a good drama or action films. We would even watch movies we use to see in the theatre when we were dating.
Again, it’s not necessarily about the movie, it’s about the experience. We cuddle in our bed, get our favorite movie snacks, turn down the lights and enjoy the show!
Look through Wedding Photo and / Or Video
Another great bedroom date we’ve had is watching our wedding video and looking through our wedding photo album. We have done this with our children at different times.
However, when we take time in an intimate setting just the two of us watching us say our vows to each other, there’s a new spark that gets lit inside of us and we use that to ignite our passion for one another all over again.
When we do this we like to sit close and talk about how we felt in that moment, we talk about how we saw our future and compare it to how we are living our life together today.
“Let’s talk” is typically perceived as a negative connotation. However, talk-time has been some of our most intimate and fruitful dates.
When we set aside talk-time, there’s so much more that goes into our conversations. We prepare our room by; setting the mood, have a special dessert, or soft drink.
Then we begin with prayer, get into a deep conversation and end with prayer!
The conversation topic is previously agreed upon; so that we have an opportunity to gather our thoughts and spend some time in prayer.
This preparation is necessary, so we can enter the conversation with pure hearts and a spirit to receive all that will be shared.
Something as simple as a conversation makes a great date because it reminds us of how we use to sit and talk on the phone for hours when we first started dating.
Nowadays, getting a 10-minute conversation is difficult when you’re calling in between breaks from work, or talking over the kids. However, when we designate an evening of no interruptions, no phones, just the two of us looking into each other’s eyes, and spending quality time talking freely; it actually brings us closer together.
In fact, besides prayer, one of the most important tools we use to have successful talk-time is our communication ground rules. We implemented these rules for when we fight fair because even conflict can lead to deeper intimacy if handled properly.
Who says you have to go to a spa to have a spa date with your spouse? You can do this right from your bedroom and bathroom. This is by far my favorite, because who doesn’t like to be pampered.
You can get very creative with this because a little effort goes a very long way. When we have a spa night we typically start with a candlelight bubble bath, followed by a massage.
We definitely set the mood for this one; we play soundscape music, low lights and /or candles. Not to mention, we keep body oil on hand and take turns giving each other a massage.
Trust me, you won’t be ready to go to sleep when you’re done! Somehow the scripture and they shall become one flesh comes to mind…
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” ~ Genesis 2:24 (KJV)
Nights of Intimacy
Speaking of coming together as one flesh, yes you guessed it, we actually do plan nights for intimacy. Well, not every time; let me explain.
You see, several years ago we participated in a 7-Days To Deeper Intimacy Challenge. And just like it sounds, we had to commit to being intimate for 7 days straight.
Now for some of you, this may sound like a piece of cake, for others, this might sound horrific. But what we learned from it, is that it forced us to get creative with our lovemaking. Keeping it fresh and exciting; not something to just check off our to-do list.
In order to complete this challenge, we were going to have to consider one another and consider what pleases each of us.
Thankfully for us, we talk regularly about what we both like so that we’re always mindful of each other’s needs. If you don’t know what turns your spouse on, make that conversation a date night ASAP!
If you’re in a season where you have to have date nights in your room, I want to encourage you to make your bedroom a place you want to meet. A special place where you and your spouse look forward to connecting on a regular basis.
Sure, date nights may be few and far between. However, every night you and your spouse can come to your private space to connect; physically mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
Don’t make it the catchall room, a study hall, or workplace.
When your bedroom becomes your sacred place, where you and your spouse look forward to retreating to; it will always be the perfect place for dates!
Before you go, grab this awesome free Truth & Dare game for spouses!